Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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