Swine flu. Run for my life!
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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