thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
