oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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