Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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