He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
