Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
