ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Randomize
