508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Randomize
