I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
