Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
