I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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