good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Randomize
