i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
