I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Randomize
