With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
