So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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