Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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