So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
