I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Randomize
