I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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