i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
