508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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