if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
