Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Congratulations! We have a period
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
