Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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