Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
