I bet he comes in French.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
