We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
