OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Randomize
