chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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