i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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