Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
