it wasn't lemon gatorade
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
