During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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