after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
