some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
How external is "for external use only"?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
