It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
