think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
