I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
