I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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