went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
