She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
He? As in you personified your dick?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
