She's JV to your varsity
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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