I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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