i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
