OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
