Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
you are never too drunk for berry picking
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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