woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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