We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
