i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
