the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
