You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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