Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
